Why it's OK to steal from Central Market and Whole Foods

by Belligerent Me

" We throw away an obscene amount of food every day" says the adamantly unnamed employeee at Central Market. " They watch us like hawks when we dispose of food and it is a very regimented process." Despite their friendly facades of 'organic foods' , earth conciousness, and vegetarian friendly items, grocers like Whole Foods and Central Market make a large part of their revenue by serving prepared foods in a deli style atmosphere. From fresh veggies to cooked meats, they serve as both restaraunts and supermarkets. But the beauty of accidental conservation at most conventional restaurants is the fact that food is made to order as opposed to stockpiled in coolers. Both Whole Foods and Central Market cook massive quantities of both pre-fab boxed meals and dishes to be sold by the pound. Everything from high-end cuts of meat to quick snacks like egg rolls are available. These 'fresh' foods like any are subject to going bad in shorts amount of time as they can not be frozen and retain their taste and texture. Dishes like Wilted Spinach and Prime Rib have very short shelf lives and excess must be thrown away for both aesthetic and health concerns. One would think that the logical solution would be to donate these left overs to food kitchens and feeding agencies just prior to expiration. The companies cite liability issues for not dispersing the leftovers to the hungry and homeless. One Whole Foods employee told me that the "food they throw away in a day could probably feed the neighborhood homeless for more than a week. So considering the fact that they give little to no discount to their employees, there is basically no destination but the dumpster. Imagine 25 pounds of seared tuna saturated in yesterday's Chili with Pinto Beans. Nestled just below are several pounds of asparagus, mash potatoes, and of course, Sushi. As we know, sushi goes bad quickly. And this is why I have no moral compunction with eating exorbitant amounts of top shelf foods while I walk the deftly calculated aisles of these stores. The 2 markets hire the best of the best to deipher how they can get us walk their trail like rats to buy the most food for the most money. So instead of buying, I just eat. I am rather good at eating. In my last culinary retreat to Whole Foods, I managed to put away:

1 plate of Green Chile Chicken
1 cup of Butternut Squash Crab Bisque
1 cup of Spinach and Lentil Soup
2 pieces of Fried Chicken
5 -10 Black Olives
Baracho Beans
Celebration Veggie Roast
1 bottle of Electrolyte Enhanced Water ( I splurged and paid for this.)
1 Chocolate Croissant
Half a cup or Coffee

(this does not include free samples)

Now also consider, these massive food retailers have the kind of bulk buying power that your average restaurant does not. Their profit margins on the $8 Smoked Turkey Sandwich you buy are often more than 800 percent. Central Market, part of the leviathan of HEB Grocers, is a massive food retailer that manufactures much of the food it sells. Now, they look at throwing away that sandwich as merely a 30 cent loss as they likely owned or had a stake in the factory farm that bred the turkey and baked the bread themselves. Yet food to much of the world is more than a loss colomn on a year ends earnings spread sheet. Food is substinence and in my case food is, right or wrong, a joyful experience. It is plain obscene there are folks going hungry in this city when so much is being thrown away. So, when I take a trip to Central Market, I often order a sandwich, leave without paying, and offer it to a homeless person. This homeless person is often a FPH employee. I love the soups at Central Market and always have several cups of their Gumbo. If you scoop down to the bottom you can find the big shrimp. Otherwise, they may end up in the garbage.

Editors Note: We do not advocate breaking any laws. We do not advocate wasting food either.